Being demotivated or not “in the mood” is one of the worst feelings in the world! You feel as though you have not the right mood or emotion to move forward and achieve what you have planned. You feel no urgency or drive to make the effort to work on your goals and change the situation.
The deceptive self-help premise
Some people buy self-help books or attend seminars that help them feel motivated for a while until the hope that something will change soon fades. Others create lists of goals and rewards, but again the excitement lasts only a couple of days or months. Some people use motivational quotes on Facebook, Instagram, on mugs, but even these have a weak effect on changing their mood.
This whole system of motivational quotes/seminars/book etc is based on the deceptive premise that you must first feel positive, happy, and confident and then achieve your goals. You first need to have the right emotion and then goal attainment will be easy.
Being optimistic and hopeful certainly help us to feel motivated and work towards our goals. However, waiting until we are “in the mood” to work on our goals is misleading. It makes us cling to a certain emotional state and wait.
Emotions and mood are temporary -don’t rely that much on them
Emotions and mood are temporary states of our mind -they constantly change. So instead of waiting for the right mood and emotions, I suggest creating a system of habits, a daily routine where you take a small step every day whether you are in the mood or not. Without expecting to be motivated or to feel positive.
Build your habits, mood will follow
Spend time during the day – as long as you think it is enough, e.g. 2 hours every morning- just to work on your goal. Give yourself space and time to create and think. You will be surprised to learn that this method has worked for Nobel laureates and great thinkers like Darwin. 4-5 hours of daily, focused, dedicated effort in favor of our goal, without waiting to feel that we are “in the mood”. Do the work you have planned and the rewards will be huge.
If you believe that you should always enjoy what you do and that your life should be trouble-free, you are wasting valuable energy on ineffective methods of motivation while trying to avoid feelings of dissatisfaction or boredom.
When we learn to accept our emotions, we realize that we can take action without changing our emotional state.
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